Auditors

[bandage]

Any of you freekickers have the misfortune to deal with this vermin in your line of work or know anyone who is one? They really are a curse on society. Had a meeting with them today to plan this year's audit and wanted to beat the fookers out of the room half way through.

'We're back to haunt you again.'

'I suppose you're going to put us down in the basement!'

'Trying to hide from us by moving to a new office, are ye?'

Fook off, you're not funny and I don't want to make small talk with you. You are not my friend. And you can fook right off giving me a 'client work programme' that I've to complete before you even start the audit. Filth. Pure and utter filth.

[bondage]

Pot kettle black, keeper turned poacher, takes one to know one etc. Filth.

A necessary evil though, created by the devious bean counters that inhabit positions of inluence in the corporate jungle, encouraging and practicing the time old tradition of tax evasion.

All bean counters are devious, evil cretins......bred to bring pain and sorrow to their fellow man.

And speaking of tax evasion........Bono tax dodger? Or what? CJH was villified over a measly 8 or 9 or so million yet Mr Hewson scurries off to the Netherlands, skipping a tax bill of aprrox 15million euro. As I am a man of very few principles, I shall continue to sing tunelessly to such classics as Angel of Harlem etc and buy their albums but Bono, he has jumped right off the high moral ground and down to the gutter with the rest of us.

[stickywithoutjam]

I hate those coonts. You should of reminded him/her/it, that it is statutory requirement he is back to audit.

[timofte]

I agree. Shower of toss pots the lot of them. (Auditors that is, not U2!)

DT

[steamboatsam]

crowd of e&y nerds sitting across from me at the moment. 3 birds who aren't fantastic but i definitely would X 3. there's a herbie hook aswell who's about 6' 3", female and a munter. been here 3 months and still waiting for a water cooler moment with one of them, probably doesn't help that i stand beside the thing all day pencil paring at them

[therock67]

steamboatsam said:

crowd of e&y nerds sitting across from me at the moment. 3 birds who aren't fantastic but i definitely would X 3. there's a herbie hook aswell who's about 6' 3", female and a munter. been here 3 months and still waiting for a water cooler moment with one of them, probably doesn't help that i stand beside the thing all day pencil paring at them

Have you access to the air conditioning at all sam? Might be an idea to pump up the heat full blast before you take up position at the water cooler - that way you've a better chance of traffic. At the very least it should encourage disrobing, which you can then interpret as an advance and you should act on it accordingly by going in for the kill.

Don't be afraid of looking foolish, as a fella once said "The man who makes no mistakes often makes nothing at all."

[steamboatsam]

admin said:

steamboatsam said:

crowd of e&y nerds sitting across from me at the moment. 3 birds who aren't fantastic but i definitely would X 3. there's a herbie hook aswell who's about 6' 3", female and a munter. been here 3 months and still waiting for a water cooler moment with one of them, probably doesn't help that i stand beside the thing all day pencil paring at them

Have you access to the air conditioning at all sam? Might be an idea to pump up the heat full blast before you take up position at the water cooler - that way you've a better chance of traffic. At the very least it should encourage disrobing, which you can then interpret as an advance and you should act on it accordingly by going in for the kill.

Don't be afraid of looking foolish, as a fella once said "The man who makes no mistakes often makes nothing at all."

i prefer to turn the a/c down very low on really hot days when they don't bring a jacket so i can see who's smuggling peanuts. that way i can wander over and offer them the women's cardigan i keep in my drawer for such occasions, get a good gander at the coat hangers and then make my move. hasn't worked yet.

[iamthelaw]

bandage said:

Any of you freekickers have the misfortune to deal with this vermin in your line of work or know anyone who is one? They really are a curse on society.

Yes, and never stop talking about how tough it was, sounding like war veterans, idiots. If it's so bad why don't you quit?

Only thing worse is those ex-auditor fooks who compound their annoying habit of reminiscing about the "bad old days" by trying to make their new jobs pushing pencils in the nether regions of banks and insurance companies sound like high finance.

[stickywithoutjam]

Or ambulance chasing lawyers- who defend the indefensible, don't start me about them

[bandage]

iamthelaw said:

bandage said:

Any of you freekickers have the misfortune to deal with this vermin in your line of work or know anyone who is one? They really are a curse on society.

Yes, and never stop talking about how tough it was, sounding like war veterans, idiots. If it's so bad why don't you quit?

Only thing worse is those ex-auditor fooks who compound their annoying habit of reminiscing about the "bad old days" by trying to make their new jobs pushing pencils in the nether regions of banks and insurance companies sound like high finance.

I absolutely hate those fooks too. Auditors and ex-auditors should be hung, drawn and quartered.

[steamboatsam]

fook sake, the average looking auditors have just left. for good. now there's nothing left on the floor for me to ogle. jubblies (hot german bird who's incredibly well stacked) is leaving next week. i guess roly poly bird it is then

[therock67]

Is roly poly bird the sound chick from copper's? Apologies for not keeping better track of the ladies in your life sam.

[steamboatsam]

admin said:

Is roly poly bird the sound chick from copper's? Apologies for not keeping better track of the ladies in your life sam.

no, roly poly is that bird Priscilla from the stupid names thread, the one that i want to push over to see if she pops back up again.

[therock67]

Ah ok. If you were desperately stuck one evening would you be more inclined towards the fat munter or roly poly? Just so I get an idea of the hierarchy in my head.

[steamboatsam]

admin said:

Ah ok. If you were desperately stuck one evening would you be more inclined towards the fat munter or roly poly? Just so I get an idea of the hierarchy in my head.

jesus that's a tough call and one that i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

if it came down to it i might have to look towards personality (crazy i know ) or maybe i'd just go with the fat munter 'cos roly poly just looks ridiculous