Favourite Family Guy Quotes

[therock67]

Peter: If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in the world, who would it be?
Quagmire: Taylor Hanson.
Joe Swanson: Taylor Hanson is a guy.
Quagmire: [Laughs] You guys are yankin' me. "Hey, let's put one over on Quagmire."
Peter: No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire.
Quagmire: What? That's insane. That's impossible.
[Pause]
Quagmire: Oh God. Oh my God. I've got all these magazines. Oh God.

---

Peter: Lois, um, go get the medical dictionary and look up "fork" and "lung."
Lois: Why?
Peter: Time is a factor, Lois.

---

Meg: Mom, Dad--am I ugly?
Lois: Oh of course not sweetie!
Peter: Yeah, where'd you get a stupid idea like that?
Meg: Craig Hoffman.
Peter: Crai....Craig Hoffman said that? Well, he's a sharp kid. You might be ugly.

---

Peter: The deep south? Isn't that the place where the black guys are really lazy and all the white guys are just as lazy but they're mad at the black guys for being so lazy?

---

Peter - I'm afraid I have some very bad news, your wife's gonna be a vegetable. You're gonna have to bathe her, feed her, and care for her for the rest of your life.
Guy - OH MY GOD!
Peter - No no no, I'm just kiddin. She's dead.

[iamthelaw]

admin said:

Peter: If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in the world, who would it be?
Quagmire: Taylor Hanson.
Joe Swanson: Taylor Hanson is a guy.
Quagmire: [Laughs] You guys are yankin' me. "Hey, let's put one over on Quagmire."
Peter: No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire.
Quagmire: What? That's insane. That's impossible.
[Pause]
Quagmire: Oh God. Oh my God. I've got all these magazines. Oh God.

Best quote is that one; but here are some more:

Stewie: I want pancakes!! You people understand every language except English! Yo quiero pancakes! Donnez-moi pancakes! Click-click-bloody-click pancakes!!!

Peter: I'll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.
Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?
Peter: Oh yeah.

Lois: Peter, what did you promise me?
Peter: That I wouldn't drink at the stag party.
Lois: And what did you do?
Peter: Drank at the stag pa-- ... Whoa. I almost walked into that one.

[iamthelaw]

[Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall]

Quagmire: Dear diary... Jackpot.

[therock67]

iamthelaw said:

[Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall]

Quagmire: Dear diary... Jackpot.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[cully]

I've never actually sat down to watch an episode, i'll give it a look tonight though

[jimmyhillschin]

There's a website that has loads of quotes all rated

The Number one is:

Peter (narrating his life): "I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front of me. Of course I'd never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow I think she knew. Lois had always been full of energy and life, but lately I had begun to grow more aware of her aging. The bright, exuberant eyes that I had fallen in love with were now beginning to grow dull and listless with the long fatigue of a weary life. (Lois knocks Peter out.)
I woke several hours later in a daze."

[eamo]

Just logging on now. Is this thread in response to the Classic Simpsons quotes that was set up yesterday?

[therock67]

eamo said:

Just logging on now. Is this thread in response to the Classic Simpsons quotes that was set up yesterday?

They're not rivals eamo, consider the simpsons thread as an inspiration if you want.