Post by eamo on May 12, 2006 11:05:03 GMT
Just got this by email
Well the evenings are getting longer, the weather is getting a bit finer and the swallows are arriving. That must mean that the championship is only around the corner. A season of great highs, devastating lows and plenty of controversies await us. Here is an idea of what we can expect to see in the summer of 2006.
May:
Tipperary lose to Limerick and Babs causes fierce controversy by saying that he’d have got ‘a better performance from 15 Polish immigrants’. He furiously denies saying this but is forced to resign when it turns out he said it live on the Sunday game. When the Tip county board fail to locate Michael Bond’s phone number they appoint John Leahy.
Michael Donnelan announces his retirement from inter-county football.
Cork hurlers take to the field against Clare all wearing wristbands with the slogan ‘just do it’ on them. A huge controversy rages when it’s reported that each player got a whopping €8.95 from Nike to do so. Donal Og says the players are feeling increasingly militant but are not interested in pay for play.
John Allen realises Cork have no chance of winning three in a row when Ger Loughnane states after the game, “Cork back – Clare gone”.
Owen Mulligan is chosen as the GPA’s player of the month but when he can’t accept his award the GPA give the award to Dessie Farrell after he scored 3 points in a club challenge game.
The first round Ulster football clash in Clones is postponed due to weather conditions. Ulster council chairman Michael Grennan blames Sean Kelly.
June:
Michael Donnelan announces his return to inter-county action and Galway beat Mayo to win the Connaught title. After the match Kieran McDonald announces he’s quitting the game.
There’s a huge media campaign to get the time of the Munster hurling final changed as it clashes with England V Germany in the last 16 of the world cup. The GAA refuse to change the time and 7,210 people witness Limerick beat Cork in the final. Michael Grennan blames Sean Kelly.
Henry Shefflin is voted the GPA player of the month but when he fails to turn up the award goes to Donal Og Cusack despite the fact he didn’t make a single save in the Munster final. The GPA say the fact that he found one of his team mates with 60% of his puck outs made him a clear winner.
Tipperary beat Waterford by 18 points in the qualifiers. Player manager John Leahy is awarded man of the match. Waterford create a new championship record as they use 3 different goalkeepers in the match. In a press release the GPA announce that they intend to strike unless they receive 30% of the gate from all championship matches, especially those involving the Mayo hurlers. Donal O Neill insists they’re not looking for pay for play.
Kerry qualify for the Munster football final by beating Waterford and Tipperary and not conceding a single point along the way. Kerry chairman Sean Walsh comments that he thinks his side have an advantage over the Ulster counties in that they don’t have to peak until later in the year.
July:
Kerry beat Cork in the Munster final by 19 points. Sean Walsh reckons Kerry are shaping up nicely after an easy Munster campaign and will be fresh for the Northern challenge that awaits.
Billy Morgan is forced to resign as Cork boss after picking 15 Nemo Rangers men in the Munster final.
Laois regain the Leinster title against a 12 man Dublin team.
Tyrone beat Armagh in the Ulster final which is marred by 23 yellow cards and 6 reds. The referees report is lost in the post so no suspensions are issued. Joe Kernan blames the southern media. Michael Grennan blames Sean Kelly.
Michael Donnelan announces that he’s quitting inter-county football.
Colm Cooper wins GPA player of the month but is unable to attend as it clashes with a Lucozade shoot so the award is given to Kieran McGeeney despite the fact that he’s been out injured all month.
Cork hurlers beat Waterford by a point in the All Ireland quarter final. Afterwards it’s discovered that Cork played the entire second half with 17 players. They receive no disciplinary action though as Frank Murphy uncovers a paragraph deep in the GAA rule book which states that such an offence is acceptable.
August:
Armagh beat Kerry in the All Ireland quarter final. Sean Walsh demands an end to the provincial system as he states that his county are clearly disadvantaged by it.
Michael Donnelan returns to the Galway set up in time for their semi final against Laois.
Tipperary gain revenge on Limerick in the AI quarter final with a stunning display from the recalled Declan Ryan. Tom Costello says ‘tis grate’.
Eoin Kelly is voted GPA player of the month but because of a Lucozade shoot is unable to make the awards. Instead the award goes to DJ Carey who announces he intends to make a comeback to inter-county hurling. Brian Cody agrees and starts him in the semi final against Galway despite the fact he hasn’t made a single training session.
Tyrone and Armagh clash again in the AI semi final and this time there are 8 red cards. Nicky Brennan states that ‘something must be done about the discipline problems in football’. Eugene McGee is not convinced anything will be done.
September:
Kerry beat Antrim in the Christy Ring hurling final. Sean Walsh declares that it’s wonderful to see open clean hurling triumph over negative Northern tactics.
Controversy rages prior to the Galway Tip AI final as Ollie Canning is suspended for 6 months for playing illegally in America. Galway officials are convinced that it was a Tip man who reported him. Michael Lowry denies any involvement and says the whole issue has been very traumatic for himself and his family.
After scoring 3-18 in the minor final Joe Canning starts the senior final and helps Galway to victory by scoring 3-14. Tom Costello says after the game, ‘tisn’t grate’.
Laois defeat Tyrone in the All Ireland final despite the fact that Mickey Harte brought Peter Canavan down from the Hogan stand to play in the second half. Mick O Dwyer says he intends to manage for another ten years before he puts his feet up.
Despite not having played any football during the year the GPA announce that Donal O Neill is to receive the player of year award. They also demand full time contracts for all players but insist they are not interested in pay for play.
The News of the World cause controversy when they set Ger Loughnane by having ‘the fake sheik’ catch him out in a meeting he had with him in Shannon. In the conversation Loughnane is recorded saying, ‘Mike Mac actually didn’t ever take a training session in Crusheen. That was all me.’
Michael Donnelan announces he’s considering his future...
Well the evenings are getting longer, the weather is getting a bit finer and the swallows are arriving. That must mean that the championship is only around the corner. A season of great highs, devastating lows and plenty of controversies await us. Here is an idea of what we can expect to see in the summer of 2006.
May:
Tipperary lose to Limerick and Babs causes fierce controversy by saying that he’d have got ‘a better performance from 15 Polish immigrants’. He furiously denies saying this but is forced to resign when it turns out he said it live on the Sunday game. When the Tip county board fail to locate Michael Bond’s phone number they appoint John Leahy.
Michael Donnelan announces his retirement from inter-county football.
Cork hurlers take to the field against Clare all wearing wristbands with the slogan ‘just do it’ on them. A huge controversy rages when it’s reported that each player got a whopping €8.95 from Nike to do so. Donal Og says the players are feeling increasingly militant but are not interested in pay for play.
John Allen realises Cork have no chance of winning three in a row when Ger Loughnane states after the game, “Cork back – Clare gone”.
Owen Mulligan is chosen as the GPA’s player of the month but when he can’t accept his award the GPA give the award to Dessie Farrell after he scored 3 points in a club challenge game.
The first round Ulster football clash in Clones is postponed due to weather conditions. Ulster council chairman Michael Grennan blames Sean Kelly.
June:
Michael Donnelan announces his return to inter-county action and Galway beat Mayo to win the Connaught title. After the match Kieran McDonald announces he’s quitting the game.
There’s a huge media campaign to get the time of the Munster hurling final changed as it clashes with England V Germany in the last 16 of the world cup. The GAA refuse to change the time and 7,210 people witness Limerick beat Cork in the final. Michael Grennan blames Sean Kelly.
Henry Shefflin is voted the GPA player of the month but when he fails to turn up the award goes to Donal Og Cusack despite the fact he didn’t make a single save in the Munster final. The GPA say the fact that he found one of his team mates with 60% of his puck outs made him a clear winner.
Tipperary beat Waterford by 18 points in the qualifiers. Player manager John Leahy is awarded man of the match. Waterford create a new championship record as they use 3 different goalkeepers in the match. In a press release the GPA announce that they intend to strike unless they receive 30% of the gate from all championship matches, especially those involving the Mayo hurlers. Donal O Neill insists they’re not looking for pay for play.
Kerry qualify for the Munster football final by beating Waterford and Tipperary and not conceding a single point along the way. Kerry chairman Sean Walsh comments that he thinks his side have an advantage over the Ulster counties in that they don’t have to peak until later in the year.
July:
Kerry beat Cork in the Munster final by 19 points. Sean Walsh reckons Kerry are shaping up nicely after an easy Munster campaign and will be fresh for the Northern challenge that awaits.
Billy Morgan is forced to resign as Cork boss after picking 15 Nemo Rangers men in the Munster final.
Laois regain the Leinster title against a 12 man Dublin team.
Tyrone beat Armagh in the Ulster final which is marred by 23 yellow cards and 6 reds. The referees report is lost in the post so no suspensions are issued. Joe Kernan blames the southern media. Michael Grennan blames Sean Kelly.
Michael Donnelan announces that he’s quitting inter-county football.
Colm Cooper wins GPA player of the month but is unable to attend as it clashes with a Lucozade shoot so the award is given to Kieran McGeeney despite the fact that he’s been out injured all month.
Cork hurlers beat Waterford by a point in the All Ireland quarter final. Afterwards it’s discovered that Cork played the entire second half with 17 players. They receive no disciplinary action though as Frank Murphy uncovers a paragraph deep in the GAA rule book which states that such an offence is acceptable.
August:
Armagh beat Kerry in the All Ireland quarter final. Sean Walsh demands an end to the provincial system as he states that his county are clearly disadvantaged by it.
Michael Donnelan returns to the Galway set up in time for their semi final against Laois.
Tipperary gain revenge on Limerick in the AI quarter final with a stunning display from the recalled Declan Ryan. Tom Costello says ‘tis grate’.
Eoin Kelly is voted GPA player of the month but because of a Lucozade shoot is unable to make the awards. Instead the award goes to DJ Carey who announces he intends to make a comeback to inter-county hurling. Brian Cody agrees and starts him in the semi final against Galway despite the fact he hasn’t made a single training session.
Tyrone and Armagh clash again in the AI semi final and this time there are 8 red cards. Nicky Brennan states that ‘something must be done about the discipline problems in football’. Eugene McGee is not convinced anything will be done.
September:
Kerry beat Antrim in the Christy Ring hurling final. Sean Walsh declares that it’s wonderful to see open clean hurling triumph over negative Northern tactics.
Controversy rages prior to the Galway Tip AI final as Ollie Canning is suspended for 6 months for playing illegally in America. Galway officials are convinced that it was a Tip man who reported him. Michael Lowry denies any involvement and says the whole issue has been very traumatic for himself and his family.
After scoring 3-18 in the minor final Joe Canning starts the senior final and helps Galway to victory by scoring 3-14. Tom Costello says after the game, ‘tisn’t grate’.
Laois defeat Tyrone in the All Ireland final despite the fact that Mickey Harte brought Peter Canavan down from the Hogan stand to play in the second half. Mick O Dwyer says he intends to manage for another ten years before he puts his feet up.
Despite not having played any football during the year the GPA announce that Donal O Neill is to receive the player of year award. They also demand full time contracts for all players but insist they are not interested in pay for play.
The News of the World cause controversy when they set Ger Loughnane by having ‘the fake sheik’ catch him out in a meeting he had with him in Shannon. In the conversation Loughnane is recorded saying, ‘Mike Mac actually didn’t ever take a training session in Crusheen. That was all me.’
Michael Donnelan announces he’s considering his future...
