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Post by whyohwhy on Jun 28, 2006 13:35:32 GMT
Tiering and Leering - absolutely no idea what it means, heard it in a meeting this morning and nodded like everybody else at the tool who said it.
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Post by steamboatsam on Jun 28, 2006 13:43:40 GMT
Boss: "i wish you wouldn't spend so much time looking at football on the internet"
Me (to myself): what the fook?? fook off; i wish you wouldn't spend so much time looking at me looking at football on the internet. Go do some fooking work, you're supposed to be a fooking manager
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Post by iamthelaw on Jun 28, 2006 21:02:25 GMT
escalate an issue
take a helicopter view
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Post by cully on Jun 29, 2006 0:00:49 GMT
Might i suggest that each forum member take it upon themselves to use one of these phrases during work at some stage and report back on findings/observations. i know that if i was in a meeting and somebody used a ridiculous phrase like taking a helicopter view i'd nod but laugh inside at the dope who said it. going forward i think it'd be funny if we all used it
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Post by lyonsee on Jul 1, 2006 11:00:34 GMT
Said to Bandage prior to leaving for his new post,
"I need you to finish off my laundry list before you go."
And he didn't. He left it on my desk. And I don't know where it is now.
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Post by bandage on Jul 4, 2006 12:38:45 GMT
Said to Bandage prior to leaving for his new post, "I need you to finish off my laundry list before you go." And he didn't. He left it on my desk. And I don't know where it is now. Nearly cracked up at the time, 'how far did you get in completing my laundry list of queries?' Will you ever fook off?!  |
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Post by jimmyhillschin on Jul 4, 2006 12:44:23 GMT
Ive got the distinct impression some of these arent used in everyday conversation :cough: Rangers :Cough:
Anyway heres another
"Put the feelers out on that one"
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Post by steamboatsam on Jul 4, 2006 13:08:24 GMT
Ive got the distinct impression some of these arent used in everyday conversation :cough: Rangers :Cough: Anyway heres another "Put the feelers out on that one" sounds like something you'd say to a mate in coppers while pointing at a chunky bird.... |
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Post by iamthelaw on Jul 4, 2006 22:46:25 GMT
"we need to drill down into that figure"
saying "revert" rather than "reply", e.g.
"Given the tight deadline on this job, we would appreciate if you could revert at the earliest possible opportunity"
Reminds me of learning off endings for formal letters in French (almost said French letters) - "Veuillez accepter, Monsieur, l'expression de mes sentiments les plus distinguées" (or something like that) - and with the same amount of sincerity in the politeness too.
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Post by bandage on Jul 5, 2006 12:21:05 GMT
'Are we comfortable with those numbers?'
'Look to be honest I only come in here between 9 and 5.30 to get paid. I don't really care what the numbers are and what do you mean by getting comfortable with the numbers? Do you want me to put my arm around them or something? Fool.'
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Post by ironbar1690 on Jul 6, 2006 13:17:09 GMT
just head this one from my manager
ironbar you are a mong
not sure what his point was -could this be a promotion or somthing?
anybody know for sure
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Post by Ball Ox on Jul 6, 2006 13:22:04 GMT
Whats a mong?  (a thong???) |
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Post by ironbar1690 on Jul 6, 2006 13:28:27 GMT
a mongel -somone who is a spaz  |
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Post by iamthelaw on Jul 8, 2006 1:15:59 GMT
Ringing a client - an American - today, got put through to her machine, where her message started
"You are through to the voicemail of (say) Mary Peters. I am away from my desk at the moment. Your call is of value to me."
Hung up on the spot. I mean, for fook's sake. I think it was Groucho Marx who said "the key thing is sincerity. If you can fake that, you've got it made"
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Post by humbug on Jul 9, 2006 21:00:35 GMT
Belt and braces.
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Post by whyohwhy on Aug 11, 2006 10:18:25 GMT
Got another yesterday:
Front-end; 'Can we front-end on this issue'
as in 'do it first'
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Post by iamthelaw on Aug 11, 2006 12:35:20 GMT
Was just about to resurrect this thread but WOW got there first; anyway:
"Point-person"
and
"Housekeeping"
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curly
Alan Hansen
Posts: 34
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Post by curly on Aug 11, 2006 14:28:57 GMT
Heard this one in a meeting recently and nearly wet myself...
"it's a bit like having a driving licence for years without getting out there driving"
in relation to people having a qualification for awhile.
I responsed in the way I learnt from my elders when faced with given a line of crap from an idiot; "absolutely"!
What about; we need to look at the "factual accuracy"....is that not saying the same thing twice?!
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Post by steamboatsam on Aug 11, 2006 15:27:46 GMT
I responsed in the way I learnt from my elders when faced with given a line of crap from an idiot; "absolutely"! there's a bird here who we've nicknamed "absolutely" 'cos she says that word at least 50 times a day, and that's not an exaggeration. no matter what you say to her she responds with "absolutely!". one of these days i'm going to punch her in the nose. |
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Post by bondage on Aug 12, 2006 12:11:14 GMT
Can't believe none of you have picked the low hanging fruit? Always thought they were the easiest ones to get.
Ever try to boil frogs while tree hugging?
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(a thong???)