Eamon Dunphy

[jimmyhillschin]

:from football365.com

Ireland Calling
Ireland may not have been busy in Germany but the good news is that Eamon Dunphy, Mediawatch's favourite salivating Irish madman and pseudo-philosopher, has been:

On the Czechs' victory over the U.S: "They're lucky they haven't got any oil or they'd be invaded tomorrow."

On Harry Kewell's latest non-performance: "He should have been whipped off at half-time for an early bath. And the bath should have been filled with boiling water."

On the secret behind greatness: "Democracy is an enemy of football - poverty and dictatorships are what you need to produce great footballers."

[eamo]

Never heard any of them

Quality stuff Jimmy - Exalt

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[therock67]

Super stuff alright - particularly the middle one.

[whyohwhy]

Blatantly robbed from Dangerhere.com (a great website back up and running)

Go team USA

The stateside sawker announcers are usually good for more than their share of nonsense and ESPN is living up to its pre-tournament billing:

Already we've seen "a great hustle from Robinson" when he made like a "big banana" (ask Lawro) to foil a Paraguayan on Saturday.

Later that night, Glenn Davis reckoned that "….a game that had been controlled by Argentina has turned 360 degrees."


To be fair to the lads though, they've been brushing up on the rules. Marcello Balboa was well aware that "one nil is usually enough to win in the group games."

There might still be a little work to do on the tactical front however with JP Dellacamera telling us that Holland were "playing a 4-4-2, but with three forwards".

.....


Where did we park the DeLorean Gilesy?

Darragh Moloney wonders where it all will go wrong for Hugo Viana

"What a future he had a few years ago."


.....


Setting your stall out

The first act of day two saw Bill “Remember Cromwell” O’Herlihy urge Eamo to read out a Daily Telegraph passage proclaiming God as a Englishman before delivering his familiar verdict:


"It's the kind of thing that would put you off England, isn't it?"


.....


As predictable as…

Half time in England – Paraguay:

Lineker: "A good start, some great football from England… "

Hansen: "Very very impressive… Gerrard has been immense."

Dunphy: "It's like Bolton against Birmingham Bill, a poor Premiership game. They never controlled the ball, never strung four or five passes together."

Brady: "It's hard to pick a player who's having a good game for England."


.....


Analysis with Wrighty

"I'm going strong on van Persie because I just love van Basten and I just like saying the "van" part."

Mind you it seems Ray Houghton is quite taken with the Wrighty method too

"van Robben's done well."


.....


Political football

Dunphy and Billo blamed S&M’s poor showing against the Dutch on the recent defection of the Montenegrans from the uncomfortable alliance – suggesting the political turmoil would have wrecked team spirit:

"They wouldn’t necessarily have the pride or the passion, the pride in their country," lectured Eamo, as a panicking Mark Kinsella wriggled and squirmed beside him until the conversation got back on surer footing.

If only he’d been able to pipe up that 22 of the players were Serbian anyway and the other considered himself a Montenegran-born Serb, he’s have shut them up at a stroke.


.....


Neck on the block

Impressively undistracted by Kenny Cunningham's head, Denis Irwin delivered a concise if uncontroversial verdict on Portugal – Angola:

"They've won the game. That's probably what they set out to do."


.....


Storming the Palace

Suppose it was only a matter of time before Simon Jordan made a move for independence. Stephen Alkin made the announcement:

“Ivan Kaviedes has played in five countries in the last twelve months....... including Crystal Palace."


.....


Johnny be no-good

Something always happens to Gilesy during these major tournaments. In Portugal last time out, he abandoned the grouchy – if sagacious - demeanor we've come to know and love to become the gantry's first blue rinse Tommy Cooper. Well, at least for the first few days.

This time round, Gilesy is on some kind of modesty kick. Perhaps tiring of being held up as a superhero figure when sitting beside Dunphy, it seems he wants to be one of the lads, an ordinary Johnny.

And so, the new self-effacing Gilesy is trying manfully to convince us that yes, he too may well have made the odd mistake in his career.

An Angolan tumbles over in the clash with Portugal…

”We’ve all had them Darragh.”

An Argentinean pass goes awry:...

“Very easy to over-hit those, Darragh.”

And when Frings banged in from range, bashful old Gilesy was convinced his modest skills would have given him no chance:

”… when it’s coming across you like that Darragh, it’s very easy to take it away from your right foot with your left – end up swinging at it, I’ve done it… you end up looking like a right clown.”

Just leave it Gilesy. We aint buying it.


.....


Ebay the letter… of the law

Some cheeky Portugese fan made off with a match ball last night, causing Darragh Moloney to showcase either a new RTE ruling on mentioning commercial concerns in commentary or a not-quite-with-it outlook on the interweb:

“Have a look at that website where they sell things in a few weeks and you'll see it up there I'm sure"

Good feet for a big man

Tell you what, it's little wonder the Englanders are getting so excited about Big Pete Crouch (as little Jim Magee will doubtless call him at some point). Clive Tyldesley is amazed these big lads aren't crawling around on all fours:

"Baszczynski has tiptoed forward, if it is possible for a six foot two centre half to tiptoe."


.......


They'll be dancing on the streets of savage-land

Reckons Stephen Alkin:

"They'll be knashing their teeth in the pubs – that is if they such things as pubs – in Quito."


.......


Taking time to gel

How to endear yourself to you new gantry partner:

Clive on Equador's opener: "…the most delightfully worked set-piece."
Southgate: "They've been undone by a simple long throw really…"

Nice touch, mind you, from Stuart Pearce at half time:

"Long throw, flick on. Sam loved it".


.......


They've started already

This was poor even by Lineker's standards:

"You could say they were pulling the wool over our eyes with Lahm scoring there."

And you just knew there was no way Lawro could walk away from:

" Paulo Wanchope..... the perfect man to take to a barbeque."


.......


Sign of things to come

Big Sam on Germany:
"It's a great start for Klinsmann. I don't think you can write Germany off."

Shearer on Germany
"It's a great start and a real confidence boost for Germany."

Eamo on Germany:
"The worst Germany team I've ever seen. Klinsmann doesn't have a clue. Obviously he has sold them some new-age American idea. Eat Muesli, live healthy… if your car's got a puncture and two weeks later it's still got a puncture, you don't know how to change a tyre."

.......


Sticking your neck out:

Billo on Frings:
"This was one of the great goals of the game wasn't it?"


.......


Neat sidestep from Kenny Cunningham

"I think the Poles will be confident as will… the players from Equador."


.......


When in London

Goalmouth mics at a corner show Jens Lehman has picked up the lingo while at Highbury:

"Fuck's sake, get out."


.......


Theory of the day:

With Poland two-nil down and ten to play, Stephen Alkin reckons the substitution of Zurawski might have been to:

"...save him for the next match against Germany."


.......


Obsession of the Day:

"He's a good little player isn't he."
John Giles X 10 on Philip Lahm


.......


World Cup alternative of the day:

"Elite" dogs jumping into water on Eurosport 2


.......


Oh and…

Big Ron is back after all on UKTV G2 highlights. But with not so much as a "blatter", "full gun" or even an acknowledgement that Frings had "bought a ticket" after his screamer, we're still unconvinced it's not the Fake Sheik doing a con job.

Fluting around with Jimmy

George will be regarded as one of the greats, Moloney is beginning to add character to competence, Canning - thankfully - is at home, Alkin is resolutely Alkin, but sometimes, for the true flavour of a classic World Cup night, you somehow need Jimmy. And as Italy and Ghana played out a thriller, the obtuse octogenarian certainly came up trumps.

For starters, when Jimmy's involved, we're no longer simply dealing with the World Cup. We've upped the ante, raised the stakes, cranked up the pressure… we're now playing for

"… the championship of the globe…"

Not for Jimmy the constant bleating about narrow offside decisions and “daylight” and what not. If all footballers were like Jimmy, there would be no dissent:

"It doesn't matter how tight or loose we think it is, it's a free kick."

"If you look up the laws of the game, you may not hold and you may not push."

That’s not to say that Jimmy isn’t wise to these youngsters and their chicanery. He’s just – to his credit - not going to call it “simulation”.

"It's like the amateur boxer who spits out the gumshield... it's up to the referee to see if he's doing it on purpose."

And on a night when Jimmy – as usual – singled out one or two of his favourites for continual use of their full names – Kuffour to Essien to “JJJohnnn Mensa”, De Rossi to Pirlo to “Lllluuucaaa Toni” – the sign of real Magee opprobrium is when he strips a player of naming rights entirely.

"He should book this man for diving."


On this night, Jimmy’s heart was with the Ghanaians. As another half-chance went wildly a begging, the cry was anguish itself:

"No Ghana No!"

And quite taken he was with the soap opera between the sticks, Richard Kingston:

“He's been shot stopper. Shot misser. Hero. Villain.”

As with all great Magee performances, however, there was one moment of pure magic. With time running out, the Ghana lads getting frustrated, and the man in the middle seeming oblivious to a sequence of rough and tumble exchanges, Jimmy began to worry:

"The referee certainly isn't fond of the whistle. James Galway he aint."

Different class… different class.


…..



Wave goodbye, say hello


Billo: "Thanks Kenny, it's been a pleasure working with you and we'll see you again. Actually, are you working tomorrow?"

Kenny: "Er, yeah..."

Billo: "We'll see you then."

…..


Commendable restraint

Mick McCarthy during USA – Czechs:

“It's definitely hit him on the hand, but he didn't raise his ball.”


…..


"Fat and a clown. A fat clown for all to see."


Perhaps Eamo is a long-time admirer of Emmerdale and its ladies. Harry Kewell must have done something to upset him:

"A waste of space. An absolute waster. He should have been yanked off at half time and put in the bath. A scalding hot bath... and left there for a long time."



.....


Same old Gilesy

“If there's one thing about the Japanese, they will be game as pebbles all of them.”

…..


Unequal Steven

Trevor Steven undoubtedly subscribes to the George Hamilton school of defending an advantage where you “might as well concede one because they won’t have time to get another.”

“They do say the two nil lead in football is the most precarious of leads.”


…..


Cunning Kennyham

FIFA could do a lot worse than let Kenny Cunningham loose on some of those simulators. Kenny reckons diving is "something we should stamp on."

…..



Is Ronaldo a Lisbian?

Tommy Smith’s straight man on ESPN is Englishman Adrian Healy and he clearly had something else on his mind during the warm up to Portugal – Angola when he declared the capital of Portugal to be “Lisbian”.


…..



By hook or by…

The wit and wisdom of Garth Crooks:

“England have two days of R&R in preparation for T&T.”


…..


Czechs bypass popup blockers

Is it any wonder the yanks were rubbish, this is what the New York Times had to say in advance of yesterday’s game:

"The United States opens World Cup play here Monday against the Czech Republic. One expected matchup (Koller and Onyewu)will more closely resemble the jostling of a power forward and a small forward, or of a tight end and linebacker, than of a soccer forward and a defender."

Wasn’t long before the first touchdown went in was it?


But wait, it’s looks like they’ve seen Peter Crouch:

"Onyewu has described any pending transfer as speculation. But last month, at the United States team's training camp in Cary, N.C., he spoke longingly of playing in England, which essentially subscribes to the no-harm-no-foul rule of Big Ten basketball."


It’s just a shame the back four didn’t download the Google toolbar:


"Defensively, the team knows it must be on alert for Tomas Rosicky, the Czech playmaker, and midfielder Pavel Nedved, the 2003 European player of the year. Each can be as irritating as Internet pop-ups, appearing in front of the goal in the most unpredictable and intrusive ways."


Sadly, the last bold prediction went unfulfilled:

"The United States says it may score a goal of its own from a free kick or corner kick."

[Ball Ox]

Dunphy re Klinsmonne: "Bill, if you have a flat tyre one day and a flat tyre two weeks later, its obvious that you cant change a tyre. Klinsmonne cant change a tyre"

Dunphy re England: "A decent side would out pace them, out play them and KILL THEM"

Bill before England V Paraguay: Whats your prediction Liam?
Liam Brady: England will win Bill.
Bill: Graeme?
Graeme Souness: I think England will win also
Bill: Eammon, whats your prediction?
Dunphy: England not to win, because they're not good enough

[therock67]

fockoffrangers said:

Dunphy re Klinsmonne: "Bill, if you have a flat tyre one day and a flat tyre two weeks later, its obvious that you cant change a tyre. Klinsmonne cant change a tyre"

Dunphy re England: "A decent side would out pace them, out play them and KILL THEM"

Bill before England V Paraguay: Whats your prediction Liam?
Liam Brady: England will win Bill.
Bill: Graeme?
Graeme Souness: I think England will win also
Bill: Eammon, whats your prediction?
Dunphy: England not to win, because they're not good enough

I love that last one - classic Dunphy.

[eamo]

The first time I came across Dunphy was in Italia 90. I'll always remember his quote before the England/West Germany semi-final.

They were discussing England's chances for the match:

Dunphy: 'Gary Stevens is back in the side. That's bad news'

[iamthelaw]

whyohwhy said:

"It's like the amateur boxer who spits out the gumshield... it's up to the referee to see if he's doing it on purpose."

Jimmy's a legend. Always pleased to turn on a game & find him commentating (commentating? commenting??).

Was surprised he didn't segue from the quote above to plug Bernard Dunne. Or Jim Rock. Still, good to see he's not letting the minor distraction that is the World Cup knock him off his game for the real important events.

[whyohwhy]

from todays Irish Times


Craig Forrest (former Ipswich goalie) is working as a World Cup pundit for Canadian television and was on duty for the Mexico v Iran game on Sunday.

Presenter: "Craig, how will the Mexican goalkeeper approach this game, given what's happened to him this week?"

Forrest: "Well, his father passed away on Thursday - he'll be disappointed with that

[bandage]

Missed all the football yesterday and Sunday but have primarily watched RTE's coverage. Dunphy has just been superb - thought he might lose some of his sparkle what with his old comrade Gilesy being over in Germany co-commentating but he really upped his game. It was like he was trying to push the boat out to impress (or intimidate?) the likes of Souness who wouldn't have seen much of him before. Speaking of Souness, I've seen him on Sky going along with the Gerrard, Lampard hype but was a different man on Saturday. Seeing as it's Irish TV and he doesn't need to lickarse any of the teams/players because they won't see the coverage he happily jumped on Dunphy's bandwagon and the two of them tore into England.

Was actually surprised at how watchable Irwin and Cunningham are. Thought they might be a little bland but they were sharp and informative. Peter Collins annoys me though. Alkin is brutal but Jimmy Magee just cracks me up. I used to find him irritating and had to always turn over but he had some crackers during the Italy game the other night. He's like a senile auld fellah rambling on to himself.

The only other thing I like is the BBC highlights when Adrian Chiles and Strachan are doing it. I find them very entertaining and amusing as a pair and Strachan's analysis is very good. A different story though when Ray Stubbs is presenting. As for ITV - they are brutal.

1. RTE
2. BBC
3. ITV

Might do my dream team commentator, co-commentator, presenter, pundits, reporter line up tomorrow.

[jimmyhillschin]

I was watching the Spain v Ukraine match in work today and ended up watching it on ITV because the RTE reception was rubbish for some reason.
Anyway. After Fabregas came on a Clive Tyldesley mentioned how well he has done at Arsenal filling Vieri's boots.
I think Pleat is beginning to brainwash him

[iamthelaw]

Bandage's description of Jimmy as a "senile auld fellah rambling on to himself" is spot-on. It often takes him a few seconds to realise that someone has scored, but I find his ramblings far more interesting than having Alkin or Hamilton tell me there's "20 minutes gone now", or saying "Beckham out to Ashley Cole"; I mean it's not radio, I can see who's passing to whom, and there's a clock in the corner of the screen. I think most commentators are hugely overrated; RTE lost sound from their commentators for 20 minutes on a Champions League game earlier this season, you could hear the atmosphere without some fool telling you what you can already see, it was fantastic.

Also, someone should send George Hamilton that e-mail explaining the offside rule to girls. Houghton has already tried three times to explain it to him without success.

And as for Alkin and Hamilton complaining about much they have to travel to get to the games, or how few goals they've seen in their particular games, they're getting well-paid to go to games that any of us would love to see, a little fcuking enthusiasm wouldn't kill them. Jimmy always seems to have a positive outlook.

[iamthelaw]

iamthelaw said:

Bandage's description of Jimmy as a "senile auld fellah rambling on to himself" is spot-on. It often takes him a few seconds to realise that someone has scored, but I find his ramblings far more interesting than having Alkin or Hamilton tell me there's "20 minutes gone now", or saying "Beckham out to Ashley Cole"; I mean it's not radio, I can see who's passing to whom, and there's a clock in the corner of the screen. I think most commentators are hugely overrated; RTE lost sound from their commentators for 20 minutes on a Champions League game earlier this season, you could hear the atmosphere without some fool telling you what you can already see, it was fantastic.

Also, someone should send George Hamilton that e-mail explaining the offside rule to girls. Houghton has already tried three times to explain it to him without success.

And as for Alkin and Hamilton complaining about much they have to travel to get to the games, or how few goals they've seen in their particular games, they're getting well-paid to go to games that any of us would love to see, a little fcuking enthusiasm wouldn't kill them. Jimmy always seems to have a positive outlook.

Got distracted, had intended just to mention the Hamilton quote on that Klose glancing header against Poland:

"Klose!!! Oh, he needed to be a bit closer there."

As the lads say themselves, "that one's been practised in the training ground"

[eamo]

bandage said:

Missed all the football yesterday and Sunday but have primarily watched RTE's coverage. Dunphy has just been superb - thought he might lose some of his sparkle what with his old comrade Gilesy being over in Germany co-commentating but he really upped his game. It was like he was trying to push the boat out to impress (or intimidate?) the likes of Souness who wouldn't have seen much of him before. Speaking of Souness, I've seen him on Sky going along with the Gerrard, Lampard hype but was a different man on Saturday. Seeing as it's Irish TV and he doesn't need to lickarse any of the teams/players because they won't see the coverage he happily jumped on Dunphy's bandwagon and the two of them tore into England.

Was actually surprised at how watchable Irwin and Cunningham are. Thought they might be a little bland but they were sharp and informative. Peter Collins annoys me though. Alkin is brutal but Jimmy Magee just cracks me up. I used to find him irritating and had to always turn over but he had some crackers during the Italy game the other night. He's like a senile auld fellah rambling on to himself.

The only other thing I like is the BBC highlights when Adrian Chiles and Strachan are doing it. I find them very entertaining and amusing as a pair and Strachan's analysis is very good. A different story though when Ray Stubbs is presenting. As for ITV - they are brutal.

1. RTE
2. BBC
3. ITV

Might do my dream team commentator, co-commentator, presenter, pundits, reporter line up tomorrow.

For me the BBC is a disgrace. It is now worse than ITV imo. They say nothing to me about football. There is not one of their 'analysts' that I can listen to. Hansen is a disgrace, Lawrenson knows nothing, I want to punch Strachan every time he opens is mouth. Their best analyst was Trevor Brooking but he's gone now. Adrian Chiles was good on his football show on Five Live but every since he has gone on the telly he has been taken in my all that smug shit which the BBC epitomises.

RTE again destroy all other rivals. I have found Cunningham and Irwin decent. Collins looks as if he wants to be on the BBC, trying to all smug. Twat.

My dream team would be:

Tyler and Brooking commentating

O'Herlihy, Giles, Dunphy and Brady in the studio

[jimmyhillschin]

My dream team would be:

Tyler and Brooking commentating

O'Herlihy, Giles, Dunphy and Brady in the studio

Regarding the commentary so far in the World cup. No match Ive watched so far, on any channel, has not been up to scratch. I then began thinking about who is there, that delivers quality commentary and I was stumped. I cant think of anybody I enjoy listening to. Tyler and Gray are probably the most consistent but are still prone to grating on the nerves.

As for the pundits Giles, Dunphy and Brady are by far the best I have personally seen. They give concise and well though out comments and their brutal honesty sets them apart. Imagine Ian "Wrong Wrong" Wright along side Giles and Dunphy. That alone would make paying your tv licence worthwhile

[iamthelaw]

iamthelaw said:

whyohwhy said:

"It's like the amateur boxer who spits out the gumshield... it's up to the referee to see if he's doing it on purpose."

Jimmy's a legend. Always pleased to turn on a game & find him commentating (commentating? commenting??).

Was surprised he didn't segue from the quote above to plug Bernard Dunne. Or Jim Rock. Still, good to see he's not letting the minor distraction that is the World Cup knock him off his game for the real important events.

"I want you to think boxing... Think boxing again... "
Jimmy setting his stall out before the kick-off of Croatia-Japan

[iamthelaw]

Was anyone watching BBC coverage of Italy-USA yesterday? I know Leonardo is among their squad of analysts; would love to see him asked what he thought of de Rossi getting sent off for elbowing a US player in the face.

[whyohwhy]

more from dangerhere.com

The Players' Manager

Where could Graeme Souness have gotten this unfair reputation as a gaffer who can't get on with his players?

"He (Radoslaw Sobolewski ) got sent off and the manager's thanking him for his efforts… he should have kicked him between the… he should have punched him in the nose."


. . . . .


George off pun mark at last

Impressive research from George as always last night, but his revelation that Klose arrived from Poland at the age of eight scarcely casts a favourable light on the early German primary syllabus.

"The only words he could speak were "yes" and "no" and that put him back a year in school."

Perhaps ages four to seven are spent perfecting sun lounger acquisition skills and taunting Essex girls.

Still, educational setback or not, George got full value out of Miroslav, particularly after his first half miss:

"Kloseeehhhhh! It needed to be a little bit klos-eh didn't it."

And what about the clever "reverse Danger Here" just before the winner:

"Germany will not score tonight."

Never fails.


. . . . .


Mick in sulk?

Big Mick's enjoying his World Cup isn't he?

"If that's a foul then I'm not sitting in this stadium."

Walk out threat or TV3 style admission of guilt?

. . . . .


Garred Giles

No doubt Gilesy will be looking forward to another outing for "Puerto Rico" today.


. . . . .


Filling the onion bag with guff


Intrepid international guff watcher Molly Stack has shown impressive resilience and stamina to take in several Tommy Smyth commentaries so far on ESPN.


As Molly tells it

"I sunk low in my seat when, after a Togo goal attempt went over the crossbar, Smyth chimed chummily to commentator Adrian Healy (who clearly couldn't give a shite what Tommy chose to say) that the failed attempt would have been a 'pint (sic) in Gaelic, don't you know, ha ha ha.'"

Helpful, Tommy.

In fact, is anyone else beginning to draw a line between the footballing ignorance of a continent and Tommy's entrenchment as the main sawker "color man" man at ESPN for decades now?


In fairness though, educational he may not be, but Tommy always looks on the bright side:

"You don't need an umbrella when there are holes in your shoes"

And with all the hullabaloo about the new football, let's give Tommy the final word on the matter. Greater acceleration? Oh no. Bounces higher? Not at all. Moves more in the air? Think again.

Tommy's verdict:

"Roundier."


. . . . . .


Hamilton: "Academic Scoland"

"With no disrespect to the Scottish game, you're not going to end up playing for Glasgow Rangers if you are a quality striker."

No disrespect at all George.


. . . . . .


World Cup analysis, rebel style


Steve G on Red FM:

"There's loads of Brazilians in Cork and loads of Croatians in Cork so it should be a good game tonight."


. . . . . .


JJ - So good he says it twice


ITV really know how to pick em don't they? What a fantastic addition JJ ("Greatest Africa Player of all time." Gabby - Abide Who – Logan) Okocha has been to their highlights coverage:

Matt Smith: "The foul started outside the box. Do you think it was a bit harsh?"
JJ: "Well… ahh.. I think the foul started ... ahhh ... outside the box. So .. ahh.. I think it was a harsh decision."


Smith: "Jurgen Klinsmann made two vital substitutions and they eventually made the difference:"
JJ: "Yes, he ahhh made two vital ahhh substitutions and they made the ahhh difference in the end."


Smith: "He's (Jaidi) a big boy isn't he?"
JJ: "He's .. ahh .. a big boy."

Smith: "I'm not too sure about his celebration though."
JJ: "I'm .. ahh .. not sure as well about his celebration."

Surely a job as assistant to Phil Neal beckons when he finishes playing.


. . . . .




Burton in Bacon Slicer

We've not quite caught Big Ron in full flow on UKTV G2 yet, but the Steve Clarridge – Andy Burton pairing provides quite the World Cup viewing experience – for masochists.

Claridge, in particular, squeals and grunts his way through a tremendous body of nonsense in ninety minutes:

"They might just go three in midfield, with Zidane behind the two boys up front.. just counting there to make sure I got that right."

Although, Burton's preparation seems to have been something less than thorough:

Claridge: "I don't want to put you on the spot, but do we know the rule with the bookings. Is it just the groups or do they go all the way through?"

Burton: [substantial pause for panic before backing the wrong horse] "All the way through."


. . . . .



Pulled off at half time?

Do you think is it just because it's David Pleat that's involved that this account of the Spain – Ukraine dubious penalty incident seems ever so slightly unsettling:

"He's holding his pants there... a little tug on his pants."

[Ball Ox]

Giles after the England game re Owen's miss: "He normally puts those in with eyes closed bill, that looks like what he was trying to do there"

Giles after the Beckham's interview: "Absolute rubbish Bill, as you'd expect from Beckham"

[iamthelaw]

whyohwhy said:

Pulled off at half time?

Do you think is it just because it's David Pleat that's involved that this account of the Spain – Ukraine dubious penalty incident seems ever so slightly unsettling:

"He's holding his pants there... a little tug on his pants."

Guess it takes the GAA to provide the real thing (I'd say "Paddy Campbell take a bow" except I'd worry what he'd be doing while he was down there. Should get a ban as long as Muldoon's.)

[bandage]

eamo said:

I want to punch Strachan every time he opens is mouth. Their best analyst was Trevor Brooking but he's gone now. Adrian Chiles was good on his football show on Five Live but every since he has gone on the telly he has been taken in my all that smug shit which the BBC epitomises.

Getting back to this. Totally disagree with this - I think Chiles and Strachan are superb. The only reason I watch the BBC is for their highlights late at night when these two boys are on. They should also have Strachan doing more of the live games.

Despite his dubious managerial record prior to joining Celtic one of the main reasons why I gave him the benefit of the doubt last summer was because of his consistently excellent analysis on MOTD2 on Sunday nights the season before last. It gave me confidence that he's sharp and analytical. Some of the tactical stuff he broke down and explained were fantastic and it made me believe he'd be excellent on the training ground.

This came to fruition with the massive improvement in Celtic's young players under him - Maloney, McManus, Beattie et al.

As for Chilesy he's not smug - just a very funny guy - and he has a cracking rapport going with Strachan. Witness the other night when he goes 'unfortunately after their wins today Holland and Argentina is a meaningless dead rubber next Wednesday. You can watch that live and exclusive on ITV1.' Classic.

[whyohwhy]

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Zlatan rummages. Ron pots.
Gavin Peacock reveals tourament's most naive Africans
---------------------------------------------------


Pleat Trousered again

Fresh from his tug at Fernando Torres' pants in the first group games, David Pleat continued his focus on regions nether during Sweden Paraguay – spotting some provocative antics from Zlatan Ibrahimovic:

“Yes, I saw him walking off at halftime rubbing his groin. I think that was some kind of statement.”

And there was a nice outing for the old chestnut after some lively work from Larsson:

"He's very quick for a man of his age. I suppose you'd call him ageless. He's 33 or 34."


. . . . . .



Out of breath Africa

We all know by now that the Africans are naïve but the Ghanaians, in particular, will get nowhere with this crazy idea – as spotted by Gavin Peacock:

"They weren't even breathing at times thanks to their fitness and strength."


. . . . . .



Ooh racist


While all around him teeter at the precipice of racial stereotype, Liam Brady leaps headlong over the edge:

"Well if you don't call them naïve you have to call them brainless. And some people will say that is unfair."


Somewhat unfortunately Stephen Alkin went headlong after him after the Czechs foiled a Ghana corner:

"Lack of white bodies in the box."


In fairness to Alkin, he did identify a chink of light at the end of a long and patronising tunnel:

"And if they (Africans) can just learn how to win football matches it is inevitable that one day, they will win the World Cup."


. . . . . .



Wistful Eamo


.. has to put the Sven-baiting on hold after Engerland's late escape:


"Pleasure postponed… we had pleasure for eighty minutes."

and

"They're going to get it one day – from one of the really good teams. Aren't they Graeme?"


The highlight though was Gilesy's masterful impression of Sven in "defusing the press" mode:


"Of course we could have ahhhh played better. I – like you – would prefer it if we had played better."


The way they've been carrying on, Apres Match would do well to find a role for him.


. . . . . .



Jimmy's X Factor


Mister Magee was again in fine form for Japan – Croatia – though somewhat pre-occupied by the Japanese lads' lack of stature.

"There is a time when size counts."

Clearly he's been getting into rather more detail during his chats with Pele these days.

Such were Jimmy's concerns about the Japanese goalkeeper, he was particularly pleased that the goalposts didn’t stretch infinitely into the sky:

"He is glad there's such a thing as a crossbar."

Indeed, as the game wore on, he grew quite fond of the little fellow:

"One great save behind him, one diddle doddle and one that hit a bar."

But the surprise of the day arrived with Japanese sub Tarnada – Jimmy revealing an altogether more exhaustive knowledge of reality telly that we might have expected:

"They said this fellow might be their x-factor and we'll see for ourselves.. the x-factor without Simon, Louis and Sharon."


. . . . . .



Just don't say Pot Black

Time spent out of the gantry has clearly given Ron a chance to catch up on old hobbies. No doubt an hour or two on the green baize inspired a brand new addition to the Ronglish lexicon when William Gallas sent a looping back-header over his crossbar against South Korea:

'I don't think he's playing the safety there."


. . . . . .



Totally awesome Cesc

Watching little Francesc in action for Spain makes Hansen feel so old, he slips into the youngsters' lingo:

"Fabregas was like, so good."


. . . . . .



Off the Mark


Mark Kinsella during Japan – Croatia:

"Anywhere target-wise, with the size of the keeper, you've got a chance of putting it in the top corner."


. . . . . .



Emotional Outburst of the tournament

Johnny Gilesy on the South Koreas:

"I love these lads."

[iamthelaw]

iamthelaw said:

Also, someone should send George Hamilton that e-mail explaining the offside rule to girls. Houghton has already tried three times to explain it to him without success.

RTE commentator (Ger Canning?) tonight as they showed a replay of Kewell scoring Australia's 2nd goal, where he seemed to be a few inches ahead of the last defender as the Australian attacker in front of him got the flick on to him:

"Well he may have been offside but was he active?"

He scored the goal (which I'm very glad about), how much more active could he have been??

[bandage]

Wet myself laughing at Canning alright. What a fool!

[Ball Ox]

WOW isnt it time for your contribution form danger here . com?? Surely some stuff must have accumulated by now???